While reading Anne Bérubé's beautiful book Be Feel Think Do on the train yesterday, I was reminded of an experience I had roughly 30 years ago. The year must have been 1987. I was in the fourth grade, sitting at the back of the classroom next to a girl named Lachelle. Our last names began … Continue reading Setting Fire to the Soul
This morning, I received an email that triggered an old thought pattern: 'Oh shit, I messed up. I'm a disappointment and this guy thinks I suck.' After meditating and noticing how quick I (still) am to judge myself, I stopped and reread the email. This time, I saw it through a different lens: 'Wow, this … Continue reading Never Doubt
As I approach the one-year anniversary of the break-in of my house, I realized something: I am afraid. I am afraid that the same thing will happen again (not likely, but research shows that anniversaries of traumatic events can trigger anxiety, memories, and feelings associated with the incident). I am afraid that I'll be in … Continue reading On Being Afraid
I was alone the night I cut my head open. I was in the kitchen packing my things into boxes. There had been no eviction, foreclosure, or divorce. Yet I knew I had to leave my home. I knew it several months earlier when the family of fox crept onto my deck and scratched at … Continue reading You Will Heal On Your Own
'What an odd question to ask,' I thought. The question had been posed to me during a job interview...and as soon as I heard it, I felt my body tense and my posture change. I struggled to find the words. "Fairly well, I suppose," I replied. The truth was: I had spent the last 40 … Continue reading How Do You Handle Chaos?
To the person who's afraid to stray from the 'norm': You are me and I am you. To the person who struggles with her place in the world: You are me and I am you. To the person who craves truth: You are me and I am you. To the person who finds the courage to start … Continue reading You Are Me and I Am You
Seven years ago, I wrote a blog post about my frustrations searching for jobs. Back then, I was still motivated by money (like so many of us who need to support ourselves) and a big fancy title that would mean something to other people. I had not yet acquired the confidence that my skills and my talents … Continue reading Hire or Higher?
A month ago, I turned on the television to watch Casey Affleck win his Best Actor Oscar for his role in "Manchester by the Sea." I felt extremely proud of him...this man I hardly knew. This man I hadn't seen in almost 20 years. The one and only time I met him was in 1999 at a restaurant in Boston. I … Continue reading What We Think We Need
"You inspire me." That's what the woman I met this afternoon told me. I laughed because we'd only know each other 10 minutes before she looked deeply into my eyes and said those three magical words to me. They were far better than "I love you" or even "I miss you" and they confirmed things for … Continue reading You Inspire Me
I sprinkled your ashes next to the biggest star I could find. You are the moon after all. I did it knowing how often I would be up there looking at the beautiful view, breathless and grateful for the climb. Maybe you washed down the mountain with the latest rainfall. It doesn't matter. Because now … Continue reading To Luna